Impression Management
From "Meditations For Women Who Do Too Much" By Anne Wilson Schaef
And yet, all these years I'd been terrified I would be stoned to death if people saw through the facade. - Sara Davidson
How much time and energy we spend in impression management! We firmly believe that if we just dress right, others will think we are professional, intelligent, competent, and in control. We believe that if we just dress right, others will think we are attractive, sexy, desirable, and worth knowing. We think that if we are just caring, understanding, and constant enough someone will want to be with us.
We have such terror that someone will see through our facade and discover (our greatest fear!) that no one is there. We believe that if people really know who we are, they would have no interest in us. We believe that it is our impression management that keeps us safe.
OF COURSE, if someone falls in love with my impression, they aren't loving me, they're only loving my image.
This is a note to myself and all my women friends...
And yet, all these years I'd been terrified I would be stoned to death if people saw through the facade. - Sara Davidson
How much time and energy we spend in impression management! We firmly believe that if we just dress right, others will think we are professional, intelligent, competent, and in control. We believe that if we just dress right, others will think we are attractive, sexy, desirable, and worth knowing. We think that if we are just caring, understanding, and constant enough someone will want to be with us.
We have such terror that someone will see through our facade and discover (our greatest fear!) that no one is there. We believe that if people really know who we are, they would have no interest in us. We believe that it is our impression management that keeps us safe.
OF COURSE, if someone falls in love with my impression, they aren't loving me, they're only loving my image.
This is a note to myself and all my women friends...
This entry was posted
on Thursday, November 29, 2007 at 1:37 AM.
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9:23 AMThis comment has been removed by the author.
9:25 AM
You said it. And while your post talks about women- I personally know a lot of men too, who hide behind a facade, hoping that no one will realize how vulnerable, insecure and weak they really are.
Before wanting people to believe in me- I need to believe in myself. If I don't, no one else ever will. And I have seen and experienced- that being true to oneself, being confident of oneself, accepting one's limitations, knowing there will be times when one will be vulnerable and that is nothing to be ashamed about- most of all- being comfortable with oneself- is what makes a woman really sexy, desirable and lovable.. They say that "Happiness is the best cosmetic". And I think they are right! :)
Cheers!
Priyanka.
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