Dreams

I was surprised to know one day, that in some parts of India, against convention, groom side is offering dowry to the bride side. Next day, coincidently, I watched news on Television - a doctor was arrested for illegally aborting women with female foetus. And the location, an unused well, which he later revealed, unearthed thousands of girl foetus. This and the fact that states like Haryana has female to male ratio of 861 to 1000 and Chandigarh has female to male ratio of 706 to 1000, makes the dowry story seem quite reasonable. There are fewer girls per eligible bachelor in some parts of the country !The fairer sex is finally in demand!

I did not write about this earlier because, I believe in spreading positive thoughts. When more and more people talk about good things, then the good will become the reality. And, I firmly believe in this phenomenon!

What makes me write about this topic and bring this on surface is a very interesting social-advertisement that caught my attention; the image on the left above. This was issued by Government of Rajasthan. The discrimination begins early on. The following image is from our elementary text book that suggests that men get educated and get the best of the world and women work at home and serve all; the difference is striking.


There is nothing grammatically wrong in the vowel and consonant teaching there - but there is something terribly wrong in the mind-set and this needs to change.

When I go on long drives, I like to hear gazals... specially Jagjit Singh, Mehendi Hasan... At home, I usually prefer the melodious romantic duets... while running on treadmill I like to hear hard rocks.

I have a thing for music and it does amazing things to me. Like, makes me happy, gives me company, motivates me, enlightens me ...

But there is one song (actually, it is not a song.. it is a symbol) that makes me feel proud, helps me stand heads-up and always brings my whole self together and gives me an identity. This is and will remain my best sound of music. It is the "Jana Gana Mana" the Indian National Anthem.

And for exceptionally simple reasons...

My personal favorite in the Hindi Movie "Chak De" is a one liner from the movie. It is said during one of the hockey matches (I guess it was between India and England).

All the women of the Indian team were screaming out didi (sister) to each other in order to pass the ball and the coach of the England team asks one of his players: “I’m confused, which one of them is Didi?”

The simple fact, that we often address our seniors at college, in our teams, or our sisters friends as didi (or bhaiya) reflects our belief in relationship, the strength of bonds. It is not necessary but honestly, it does not harm either.

And living in America for 2 years (incidentally, which I completed yesterday) and meeting with people from all nations, I feel very contented in the fact that I was born and brought up in India.

It is almost 2 am now. Almost, all my family and friend that I know of, prefer to sleep at this hour. Today, early in the evening, I had pledged to myself that I will bring back something that I had lost for long, to my life. I am talking about "good morning".

The pre-requisite to my pledge was that I will sleep at 11:00 pm (to be able to wake up at 5:30 am). I have already missed the pre-requisite.

Coming back to the "good morning" factor - I realized that my life has just two times: office time and sleep time. There is no morning, no afternoon and no evening.

This is my attempt to bring them one by one, back to my life. I am not talking about the four reasons at all...just baby steps to a fuller life.

Will I have a "Good Morning" tomorrow? ... well, if I sleep now !

Whenever life hits you adversely, and you just don't see a way out - it is more important that you add up to your share of joy.

Whether you want it or not, life offers you two buckets. Sometimes, the bucket of sorrow just piles up and it seems too heavy to bear. What do you do? Feel depressed, lost, retired ... this makes the bucket even heavier.

Instead, concentrate on the bucket of joy. Try each day, each moment to add some bit of joy. Anything that makes you happy, break free and do it now. The process will be gradual, but it will grow exponentially. And soon you will see the bucket of joy has balanced and outweighed the bucket of sorrow. And the best part of it is, heavier the bucket of joy becomes, lighter your heart feels.

Next time, when you feel depressed, treat yourself with something nice. Concentrate on the bucket of joy!

- Richard Bach

"Wish Angels work hard to collect wishes. Upon collection, these wishes are taken to the "Wish-Approver" who has the powers to grant the wishes. The approval process is based on rigorously reviewing the acts of wish-seekers. Believe it or not, the conversion rates are very low. This makes the work of wish-angels extremely tough, as they have to meet their wish targets.

Wish Angels need qualified leads. So, what do they do?

They 'halo' around people who have their acts right. This way, they collect wishes that have much higher chances of being approved and hence being granted. "
- This is Shekhar's theory of Wish Angels.

And I simply like to believe in it. Keep being good, wish angels are around you. And don't forget to make a wish!

2x2 is one of the most generic decision making models. It helps you compare competing choices to solve problems and make better decisions.

Infrequently, I write about management stuff in my other blog. But, here I am using the 2x2 to explain life, as it is... The idea came when I was chatting with Shekhar about life and its reminiscences, some days back. The matrix is self explanatory.

So, where does your life fit in? Where would you want it to be in?

It felt sadly funny ... I was feeding my fish with Tetramin flakes and at the same time tearing-off the sachet of dried vegetable mix for my- alone at home dinner - of instant noodle .

Was it the uncanny similarity of foods or my loneliness, but everything around the house seemed to be floating, including myself ... light and loose ... the house felt like a huge aquarium. I felt my companion in the fish, sharing about our lives - in our own waters ....

Well, I was just about to do something with the - now spilling out of the bowl noodle soup - for example slurp it, a steaming show of Sex and the City caught my attention. Carrie and friends were talking about dilemma between relationship and single-hood. Carrie used the acronym SSB - "Secret Single Behavior" . When loneliness has become a way of life - liked or otherwise - and is breached by the presence of significant others, how does one react?

Ironically, I was thinking on the contrary, of FFF - family, friends full-time.

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I hear the water is cold and full of current there ... I can't swim past them now. Until then, it is time to keep floating.

The noodle soup is cold, smells unpleasant - will throw it in the sink. The fish ate its Tetramin. We are different.

I beg you ... to have patience with everything unresolved
in your heart and
try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms or books
written in a very foreign language.

Don't search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday far in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903